He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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