help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
