I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
