So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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