Don't you send me to vm
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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