Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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