You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
