I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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