Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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