take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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