there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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