Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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