Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
