Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am mentally ready for anal.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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