is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think i have two assholes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize