can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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