I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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