is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's never too late to be topless.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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