Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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