ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
