is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just had sex on a roof
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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