I wannas sexs uuuuu
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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