The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize