it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
