I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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