Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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