I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
