their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
