Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
