He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
