dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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