ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
