just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
