so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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