he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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