Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
