So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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