Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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