Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
