member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
