Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
