He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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