I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
