my vag is so smooth its legendary
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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