There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize