Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
