God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize