Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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