I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
