Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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