You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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