at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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