Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
