i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
