i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE