margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me