I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.