Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
