he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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