Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
