I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am naked and annoyed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
